NEWSFLUSHES
(Link) Britney is # 1 for Yahoo searches -- all that looking and nobody's found her panties.
(Link) The real Break-Up -- Jennifer and Vince are "friends" no more
(Link) Will slug for food -- Barry BooHoo goes looking for a job.
(Link) Fear of the Idol -- Lost chickens out, loses an hour.



HAPPY FRICKIN' BIRTHDAY...
** Jazz legend Dave Brubeck is 86
** Boxing promoter and president of the Hair Club for Extra-Terrestrials, Don King is 74
** Baseball guy with a really short fuse, Larry Bowa is 61
** Former Formula 1 driving champion Keke Rosberg is 58
** Matriarch of the House of Poltergeist JoBeth Williams is 58
** Faber College alumnus and Delta House pledge Tom Hulce is 53
** Survivor cutie and failed actress Colleen Haskell is 30



SONG ON THE BRAIN
"Ode to My Family" by The Cranberries (released in 1994 on Island Records)



WHO SAID WHAT???
"Would you be offended if I said I'd like to use your ass as a bongo drum?"

-- spoken by ***** ******* (as voiced by **** *********)



CELEBRITY CRAPOLA
A new album of Christmas songs by Michael Jackson has been cancelled by the self-proclaimed King of Pop's record label after the singer was allegedly caught trying to be hands-on with The Little Drummer Boy.



THE GREEN MONSTER
I'm not saying that baseball salaries are once again getting out of hand, but the Boston Red Sox just offered a five year, $22 million deal to the New York Yankees' batboy.

Stay tuned...