NEWSFLUSHES
(Link) LiLo heads to kegger -- mistakenly ends up at A.A. meeting instead.
(Link) Yeah, but what about that Canadian keyboard dweeb -- Dave re-ups with the Eye.
(Link) At least Kevin Bacon's still alive -- George Clooney mourns his pet pig.
(Link) But cannabis is more fun -- Macca tries to shrink his marital woes.



HAPPY FRICKIN' BIRTHDAY...
** The last surviving Ronnie, British funny man Ronnie Corbett is 76
** Former Tic-Tac-Dough host with the funny name, Wink Martindale is 72
** He fought the Martians a lifetime ago, retired actor Jimmy Hunt is 67
** The Byrds' bass guy Chris Hillman is 64
** Actor and Beau-bro Jeff Bridges is 57
** He's Stephen King's personal director, Mick Garris is 55
** She used to be thirtysomething, but Brothers & Sisters star Patricia Wettig is now 55
** An actor so tall they made him a Klingon, Tony Todd is 52
** A man who saved a ballgame or two, former ace closer Lee Smith is 49
** Her career clock is ticking like this, actress Marisa Tomei is 42
** Rapper incognito (aren't they all) Shawn Carter -- AKA Jay-Z -- is 37
** Source of many a wet dream (or, uh, so I've heard) Tyra Banks is 33



SONG ON THE BRAIN
"Rockin' Chair" by Oasis (released in 1995 on Big Brother Recordings)



WHO SAID WHAT???
From Friday, December 1:

"Ah, the morning consumption of mass quantities -- gridlike breakfast slabs, extruded mammal fillings, seared strips of swine flesh and flattened chicken embryos. I will enjoy it."

-- spoken by Beldar Conehead (as portrayed in The Coneheads by Dan Aykroyd)



CELEBRITY CRAPOLA
Paris Hilton cancelled her appearance at the upcoming Billboard Music Awards, supposedly because she found jokes in her script about her friends objectionable, but Hilton spokesman Elliot Mintz has now confirmed that the real reason for Hilton's rejection is that she hasn't had time to prepare a proper wardrobe malfunction.

Stay tuned...