NEWSFLUSHES
(Link) When you're 85 lbs, one shot is all it takes -- Nicole Richie busted for DUI.
(Link) Plastic junk in the trunk -- Tori Spelling holds a yard sale.
(Link) Hell and the Ohio River have frozen over -- WKRP is coming to DVD.



HAPPY FRICKIN' BIRTHDAY...
** Multi-talented performer Rita Moreno is 75
** Knots Landing alum who is aging just fine, thank you, Donna Mills is 66 -- seriously
** A guy with a mouth just big enough for his foot, Senator John "Herman" Kerry is 63
** A gal who's tougher than she looks, actress Teri Garr is 59
** She made a Jaws sequel and her career lived to tell about it, actress Bess Armstrong is 53
** Brother of a guy who pales in comparison to his former self, Jermaine Jackson is 52
** Director of the Almighty (Bruce and Evan, not the other Guy), Tom Shadyac is 48
** Motley Crue bassist and a man who's lucky to be alive, Nikki Sixx is 48
** Former Astros, Padres and Blue Jays outfielder and blockhead Derek Bell is 38
** Ottawa Senators "C" guy Daniel Alfredsson is 34
** Rapper, actor and man of many names, Mos Def is 33



SONG ON THE BRAIN
"Follow Your Heart" by Triumph (released in 1984 on MCA Records)



WHO SAID WHAT???
"Whatever didn't happen, make sure it doesn't happen again!"

-- spoken by **** ****** (as portrayed by **** **********)

Stay tuned...